Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Vacation

Hi folks - didn't want you to think I'd given up so quickly... I'm actually going to be on vacation for about a week. If they've got wireless at our destination, I'll definitely sneak in a post.

My plan when I return is to take on the taboo. Personally, when I got elbow-deep into this ridiculous baby chase, I wanted to know the unseemly details, the lurid intracacies of kids-by-science.

This is an embarrassing process for both the man and the woman. It's FAR more invasive for women, but that's not to say there aren't plain weird moments for the guy. And, well... this was the whole idea of the blog - to present the guy point of view.

Now I know most of the ladies out there are going to let out a collective "GIVE ME A BREAK" as I whine about this, but the process of "collecting a sample of semen" is truly bizarre. And nothing can really prepare you for the walk of shame - the trip down the hallway with a cup in your hand as everyone looks at you knowing you're headed back there to smack your junk.

Maybe it's a gross subject, maybe it's funny, perhaps it's titillating. Regardless, I'm pretty sure none of you had to conduct such improper behavior a few paces away from your mother-in-law...and frankly, that was just part of what made my first experience in this ridiculous collection room so painfully memorable.

So in the meantime, feel free to comment on whether or not you think it's appropriate material, or if you'd rather I skip to more important topics involved in the IVF process. If anyone else wants to share oddball details of their collection room experience - go for it. The more we can laugh about it, the more normal it might seem.

See you in a few...

8 comments:

Heather said...

I'd love to hear your take on things. We are just starting on our journey and I can't get my husband to open up very much. It is nice to see things from the male point of view.

GZ said...

Meh. There's not much too taboo for an infertility blog. Don't worry about that.

I am glad I found your blog (courtesy of A Dad Someday) and am looking forward to more.

Have a great trip.

Hoping For A Baby said...

We are about to begin our first IVF cycle and my husband won't talk about it for fear of getting my hopes up. So thank you for sharing the male point of view (or at least one male's POV). I look forward to reading more!

Frog Legs said...

Found you through another blog. :) Welcome! As far as teh "wal;k." My hubby did it at home 3 times (funny side story, lol) but never at the office. Just dropped it off at the hospital on his way to work. anyhow-- have a great vaction!

Anonymous said...

I have a collection story for you. My wife and I are neck deep in this process in Chicago. Our doctor for this purpose is on the Northshore. The area is very white, and very affluent (on average). All the guys in the waiting area look like exiles from an Eddie Bauer ad. However, the two pieces of "material" that are always on top when I go in to "spank the monkey" are Black Tail and Black Teens. What the hell? These guys are using it like some therapeutic fantasy fulfillment. It just doesn't seem right.

By the way, and I am not kidding when I say this, I have a real collection problem. My count is better second round than first. Even if it is half an hour after the first. Thus, the normal protocol is a quick spank at home, then the "official" spank. Think that one's hard to get out? Of course, it isn't my mother-in-law, but it does take concentration.

Ann said...

I'd love to hear it. I've always thought about the guys in the waiting room at our fertility clinic. If they were alone, everyone knew why they were there, and I always wondered how they felt about it. My husband was recently complaining that he never got to share his stories about how he'd get out of work meetings to go masturbate in a cup.

Alli said...

LOL I cannot believe how much the subject of "the cup" is coming up right now in blog land! Good luck and have a great vacation.

Anonymous said...

No one has yet described how sharp the edge of a plastic cup can be. (When the world ends and you need a razor, remember to look for the cups with the green lids).